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I am a Cleaner After All

My friend changed her Facebook status [around 3 minutes after she finished her Purim Seudah] to “wake me up after Pesach!”

I felt the same. At the end of Purim, I say (with fear in my voice) “4 weeks to pesach!” Motzei Pesach I say “4 months to Tisha Be’Av” and as I break my fast “8 weeks to Yom Kippur” and then “2 months to Chanukah” and on the 8th day I start planning my Mishloach Manot, after all it is “3 months to Purim!”

Am I not the happiest person ever? I am always counting down to the next Jewish Day.

As Jewish women, we spend our lives planning and preparing for the next occasion, the next Simcha, and/or the next Yom Tov. We always have something to do that involves panic and often a fear or two as well. Let me introduce you to some of my choice phrases that come to mind for said times of the year:

“Oh my g-d did you really just ask me for a cookie? Do you really think I will bake so close to Pesach? If you are hungry eat the dust mites that need to be gone anyway!”

“Of course the Menorah looks shiny I spent 3 days scrubbing it. You helped? Yes you turned off the water when I couldn’t move my hands anymore!”

“If you get drunk, I will not clean up your vomit! You will sleep outside and will not come into my house until you are sober and showered! Take point, do not get drunk on Purim!”

And so they go on.  I really am a nice person, but there are some things about certain times in the Jewish calendar that get my ‘yiddisher mama’ instincts out and put my girly-moody-terror swings into full force. And Pesach is not only one of them, it is the main one.

I grew up with a real Jewish mother who would pester my father from Chanukah to Chanukah “spider webs are Chametz, they must not be seen on Pesach and you must take them down before next Pesach!” So you can see why I get this fear when someone mentions the “P” word, I mean how am I meant to have a house so clean for Pesach that there are no cobwebs, when there are no cobwebs to begin with?! How will I know when I am done?!

Or maybe I am never done because as soon as I am done ‘Pesach cleaning’ away the Chametz, I must clean up the Pesach food and dishes, and then change back to Chametz and then clean up the crumbs from the pizza and then make shabbos and clean up again and clean and clean….

SoapyWater

I just realized the point of what I am trying to say.

When someone tells you “such a true yiddisher mama” or “you are a real Balaboosta” or (best one ever said to me) “your house is always so clean and you always have such good food!” what do they really mean?

“Hey you are such a great cleaning lady!!!”

And we are right?  After all, everything we do involves cleaning or cooking or looking after the kids, or cleaning some more.

So I sign off with the following:

If Pesach starts getting you down, just think it as 6 months to Tishrei (3 times 3 day Yom Tovs!) and that has to be harder than this. If you think your house isn’t clean enough, it obviously isn’t! Find your husband and get him to help. If you don’t think you will be able to clean everything and shop for food, wash dishes and kids clothes, and then cook and dress the kids – then go have a cup of tea. G-d will help you figure it out eventually. After all, no one ever came to Seder night and had to eat challah!

Happy Pesach Cleaning  🙂

Photohraph by Rivka Bauman Photography

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Secondary Infertility

 

I’m pained, saddened, and heartbroken. I can’t stop crying. My face is soaked with tears, my heart is throbbing in pain, and my body is shaking from weakness. I keep on asking myself, “How did this sudden turnover from excitement to misery happen?” I wish I could’ve held on, I wish the fetus could’ve stuck to me healthily. At my sibling’s wedding, everyone wanted to know if I was pregnant, even had the audacity to approach me and ask me straight out, to which I abruptly responded, “I prefer to keep these matters private.”

My story goes way back to the delivery room of my first and only child. After an extremely longs stretch of days filled with excruciating labor, I was rushed in to the operating room due to the baby’s dropping heart rate. I was immediately gassed out and then given general anesthesia. The C-section took over two hours of pulling out my child. The first time I held him, he was over 12 hours old. I cried out of excitement, joy. Every day with him is a great gift from heaven that I have never taken for granted.

We tried for another as soon as we got the go-ahead from my OB. I was thrilled to find out that I was pregnant. I came in at 12 weeks for an ultrasound that showed a 7 week old fetus without a heartbeat. I was disappointed, but remained positive. I had a D&C at a Doctor’s office and felt better almost soon after.

I was told to keep trying. I got pregnant again almost immediately. This time, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I decided that I’m not taking a home pregnancy test. Finally, 2 weeks passed my missed period; I took a home pregnancy test. It was clearly positive. That night, I woke up in excruciating pain; almost worse than the contractions I experienced at my son’s birth. My husband helped me breathe, and calmed me down that everything will be okay. I began light spotting the next morning, and then eventually passed the fetus.

It was horrifically traumatic. I felt as though the picture from the book of a forming fetus was getting flushed down the toilet. I felt as though I was a destroyer, not a creator. I was miserable. I fell into a deep hidden depression. On the outside I acted well; however, in the inside I was hurting. I gained a lot of weight and ate away to cover up my emotions. Then, I decided that I won’t give up…I’ll hold on tight, and try again.

This time I was pregnant. Everything was going well. I even made it in to the second trimester. Until my first ultra sound where there was no heartbeat. The baby measured a week less only at 15 weeks. I was sent to a special ultra sound where they confirmed it. I was scheduled for surgery Erev Succos morning. I was put under general anesthesia where they dilated my cervix and contracted my uterus to take out the fetus. My recovery was slow and steady.

This time it took me a year to begin thinking about trying again. On our first try, I was pregnant, but it only lasted two weeks. I bled everything out. All along I’ve been seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist, Hematologist, Endocrinologist and my OB, and none had any solutions. The fetuses have been sent for genetic and viral testing, everything was negative.

The doctor said to keep on trying, so we listened. I got pregnant again almost immediately. All my numbers were good, the HCG and progesterone levels were just as expected. I let myself get excited and I began dreaming about holding my newborn just in time for the month of May. I pinned my favorite baby clothing and items that I dreamed of onto my private Pinterest board. I signed up to the baby magazine. I had my eyes set on the stroller that I dreamed of. I already planned spending time with my newborn in May, June, July, and August.

Until I received the phone call with my blood results. My heart sank. Those painful words were too familiar. “Oh, honey, it’s Nurse ________at Dr. __________ office calling. I have bad news…the HCG levels are dropping. You should expect cramping and bleeding very soon. If you soak through more than a pad an hour go to your local emergency room.” I began sobbing uncontrollably. This time, I kept all my thoughts positive, hoping everything would remain positive. I felt like G-d is slapping me in the face! Why? What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?

I have been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. I often find myself crying. I cry from joy and appreciation of being so thankful for my beautiful, healthy child, while crying and praying for another healthy baby. For those of you suffering from infertility I feel your pain, I know your pain, and I cry from the same pain that you are experiencing. I hope and pray that very soon we all cry from the same feelings of happiness, as we hold our precious newborn in our arms.

Chanukah is a holiday of warmth and light. As we gather around family and we talk about the open miracle that G-D showed our ancestors, we speak of their triumph against the darkness. As they prevailed, may all of my sisters out there suffering from infertility see open miracles and overcome the pain and the struggles. As we all light the last candle, I am requesting that you bear us in mind and that your prayers reach the heavenly throne. May the Chanukah light continue to illuminate your home and your future.

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Root Vegetable Latkes with Lemon-Saffron Yogurt

Two nights left to cook = Two Way Latkes!!

Beet Latkes with Lemon Saffron Yogurt & Rutabaga Latkes with Horseradish Taramosalata

I’ll be the first to admit that potato latkes are really the best kind of latkes! Especially when they’re made well – crispy, thin and fresh out of the fry pan. Here are a couple of recipes using an assortment of other vegetables you can use to perhaps boost your intake of vitamins and minerals, and to add some variation, colour and seasonal freshness to your plate.

Ingredients:

  • 1lb mixed raw root vegetables such as rutabaga, golden beets, red beets and parsnip (other turnips, celeriac and carrots are also fine, although I haven’t tried them) peeled and shredded by hand or using a food processor.
  • 1 small or ½ a red onion, minced
  • 2-3 eggs
  • ¼ c flour (almost any flour, all-purpose, whole wheat, spelt and probably many gluten free flours are also fine)
  • 2 teaspoons salt (or just a pinch of salt if using mostly beets, too much salt will stifle their natural sweetness)
  • 3 grinds black pepper
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • ½ C peanut or grapeseed oil, (approximately) for frying

For the Beet Latkes: 1 bunch lightly cooked beet greens, squeezed and chopped, 2 tablespoons of fresh mint and parsley, zest of ½ lemon,1 tsp ground cumin, 1 tsp tahini.

For the Rutabaga Latkes: 1 tsp caraway seeds toasted over the fry pan before you start your frying, 2 tablespoons dill and/or parsley.

Lemon Saffron Yogurt Sauce for the Beet Latkes courtesy of Yotam Ottolenghi

Ingredients:

  • 1 big pinch saffron threads
  • 250g Greek yoghurt
  • 2 tsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp lemon juice
  • Salt

First make the sauce. Soak the saffron in two teaspoons of hot water for five minutes. Transfer this to a bowl, add the yogurt, oil, lemon juice, and salt to taste, and stir to combine. The sauce will keep well in the fridge.

Horseradish Taramosalata for the Rutabaga Latkes

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon freshly grated horseradish
  • 2 tablespoon freshly chopped dill
  • 3 tablespoons carp roe or salmon caviar (vegetarians, just leave out. The dip is great either way).
  • Zest and juice from ½ a lemon (only if using the roe or caviar).
  • Salt
  • Combine everything and refrigerated until needed.

To make the latkes: Place all your ingredients into a mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. I put disposable gloves on and get down and dirty. I use three eggs; the resulting mixture is lighter, fluffier, and will give you crispier latkes, but it will work fine with fewer eggs, or egg whites if cholesterol levels are a concern. Heat a fry pan with a good amount of oil on a medium flame, and drop spoonfuls of the latke mixture, flattening them with a spatula. When you jiggle the pan and the latke loosens and seems to hold its shape, it’s ready to be flipped. I like to press them thin and cook them quickly on a higher flame.

When deciding what vegetable to use with which sauce, the answer is that it doesn’t really matter. You could use the exact same mixture of root vegetables for either the “beet” or “rutabaga” latkes, and as long as you pair the right herbs and spices with the sauces, they’ll taste great.

A Freilachen Chanukah

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Organic Gluten Free Latkes

Are you looking for a perfect gluten free latke recipe for your family or guests? Look no further! These mini latkes have a classic taste and texture, and make a great appetizer for your Chanukah parties. These latkes are made extra small for an appealing presentation, and look beautiful when served with a big green salad and a side of organic applesauce!

Why make organic latkes?

Did you know that potatoes are one of the top 12 pesticide-contaminated foods? These top 12 most contaminated foods are known as “the dirty dozen” and include the fruits and vegetables that are most heavily laden with potentially harmful pesticide residue. The following is a list of the 12 most contaminated foods, followed by list of the 12 least contaminated foods. For those of us on a tight budget, simply substitute organic for the most contaminated foods whenever possible, and when buying conventional produce, stick to the least contaminated foods.

12 Most Contaminated:

▪ Peaches
▪ Apples
▪ Sweet Bell Peppers
▪ Celery
▪ Nectarines
▪ Strawberries
▪ Cherries
▪ Pears
▪ Grapes (Imported)
▪ Spinach
▪ Lettuce
▪ Potatoes

12 Least Contaminated:

▪ Onions
▪ Avocado
▪ Sweet Corn (Frozen)
▪ Pineapples
▪ Mango
▪ Asparagus
▪ Sweet Peas (Frozen)
▪ Kiwi Fruit
▪ Bananas
▪ Cabbage
▪ Broccoli
▪ Papaya

Now back to the latkes!  Here is what you will need to make your golden crispy gluten free latkes:

  • 2 pounds organic Yukon gold or Russet potatoes, peeled
  • 1 medium yellow onion, quartered
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 cup olive oil

Yield:  14-18 latkes

Directions: Peel your potatoes and place in a bowl of cold water. Using the grating disc of a food processor, grate the potatoes and place into a bowl. Using a cheesecloth, cloth napkin, or a strainer, squeeze as much liquid out of the potatoes as possible, reserving the potato liquid in a separate bowl. Let the liquid settle for five minutes, (your gluten free potato starch will settle to the bottom of the bowl). While the potato liquid settles, process the onion until smooth in the food processor and add to the grated potato. Slowly pour off the liquid from your bowl of potato liquid, and add the remaining potato starch to your grated potato mixture. Add in the egg and the salt and stir well.

Once your batter is ready, coat your frying pan with about 1/4 inch of olive oil, then turn up the heat. Add 1 heaping tablespoon of batter into the oil at a time, and flatten them slightly with your spatula.  Fry latkes until golden on the bottom- about 3 minutes on medium-high heat- then flip and fry until golden on the other side. When they are crispy and golden brown, remove from the pan and drain on paper towels if desired. Continue frying until all the batter is used up, adding in more oil to the pan as needed. Serve with organic applesauce and generous helping of your favorite green salad – and enjoy your delicious gluten free meal!

Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy Chanukah!

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Baked Cinnamon Doughnuts with Quince Cardamom Preserve

For years now, Chanuka has been synonymous with doughnuts. While gentiles are stringing up their lights, saddling up reindeer, and racking up huge electricity bills, we Jews are probably more focused on our usual preoccupation: food. Yes – miracles and wonders, olive oil, lights, transcending the physical too, but mainly food – deep fried food. We’re imaging the crispy and salty latkes and the moist creamy doughnuts. Many years ago, some clever person had the great idea to connect every single Jewish holiday to different foods, and these foods have become rituals in their own right. The whole idea at it’s core is pure outreach (so I guess a Lubavitcher thought of it?): the lost Jewish soul comes back to his grandparents’ Shabbos table with one good bowl of chicken soup.

The only thing that really connects doughnuts with Chanuka is the fact that doughnuts are deep fried, which is supposed to remind us of the miracle of the oil in the Temple. Considering the recipe I’m about to give you is for baked doughnuts, not fried ones, which might seem sacrilege to some, let me just defend myself in advance; I would never choose to deep-fry something if I could make it just as good another way. Deep-frying is messy, costly and when it’s all over, the smell lingers, and someone needs a facial.

If you’re thinking that you’d be better off just buying doughnuts, then yes, you have a point. It would be so much simpler if I could just bite into a commercial doughnut and taste good quality jam or REAL custard filling, but anyone who eats discerningly knows that most of the time, food you buy just isn’t all that great. It’s one of the big reasons I bother to cook at all (unless you thought it was the calluses and burns!).

If you make your own doughnuts and fillings this year, no matter which recipe you use, let your mind wander back to the story of Chanuka, and add some personal meaning to your own recipe. Think about the heroes of the story: The Maccabim, the people that physically cleaned the desecrated Temple, and the heroine Yehudit who seduced the Syrian-Greek general Holofernes with cheese and wine before beheading him. Deep fried food? We can be more creative than that – just the same way we are probably capable of deep-frying anything, I am almost certain we are capable of attributing connection and meaning to absolutely anything.

The idea of ‘transcending the physical’ stems from the fact that the miracle of Chanuka features the number 8. To explain; a 7-day week is the norm, and the bane of our existence, but the miracle of the oil burning lasted for a full eight days. Eight is not just any random number, it is just one more than seven. 8 teachers us to try and go beyond our comfort zones and our natural state of being.

So, as this Chanuka approaches, ask yourself, “do I want another average doughnut from an average bakery, or am I going to go beyond my usual limitations and make it myself?”

For the Doughnuts (adapted from 101 Cookbooks):

  • 1 1/3 cups warm milk, 95 to 105 degrees (divided)
  • 1 packet active dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons)
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 5 cups all-purpose flour (I use a blend of whole wheat and white or whole spelt)
  • A pinch or two of nutmeg, freshly grated if possible
  • 1 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
  • 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon

Directions: place 1/3 cup of the warm milk in the bowl of an electric mixer. Stir in the yeast and set aside for five minutes or so. Be sure your milk isn’t too hot or it will kill the yeast. Stir the butter and sugar into the remaining cup of warm milk and add it to the yeast mixture. With a fork, stir in the eggs, flour, nutmeg, and salt – just until the flour is incorporated. With the dough hook attachment of your mixer beat the dough for a few minutes at medium speed. This is where you are going to need to make adjustments – if your dough is overly sticky, add flour a few tablespoons at a time. Too dry? Add more milk a bit at a time. You want the dough to pull away from the sides of the mixing bowl and eventually become supple and smooth. Turn it out onto a floured counter-top, knead just a few times (the dough should be barely sticky), and shape into a ball.

Transfer the dough to a buttered (or oiled) bowl, cover, put in a warm place for an hour or until the dough has roughly doubled in size.

Punch down the dough and roll it out 1/2-inch thick on your floured countertop. Use an upside down small drinking glass or a 2-3 inch cookie cutter to make circles. Transfer the circles to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Cover with a clean cloth and let rise for another 45 minutes.

Bake in a 375 degree oven until the bottoms are just golden, 8 to 10 minutes – start checking around 8. While the doughnuts are baking, place the butter in a bowl and the sugar and cinnamon in another bowl, plate or ziploc bag.

Remove the doughnuts from the oven and using a pastry brush (or you can actually dip the doughnut into the bowl of butter) brush butter over each doughnut, then a quick toss in the sugar. Depending on how many you’re making, you can just throw all the doughnuts together in the ziploc bag and give it a shake. When I’m making a ton of these I spread the sugar mixture onto a baking tray and after brushing the butter, I turn the doughnuts around once to get coated.

Makes 1 1/2 – 2 dozen medium doughnuts.

For the Quince Cardamom Preserve:

  • 3-5 quinces, peeled and chopped
  • 3-4 apples and/or pears, chopped (no need to peel if you plan on blending).
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • zest and juice of one lemon
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 1 vanilla bean cut lengthwise
  • 3 cloves
  • 4 cardamom pods.

Here’s how: add everything to a heavy-bottomed pot. (Don’t mess around with the numbers of the spices unless you have a really good memory! Remember, whatever you put in, must come out so this way you have 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5…). Add enough water to barely cover the fruit, bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to low. Stir often, keep reducing the liquid and be careful not to let it burn. Some people use a crock pot and cook the fruit overnight and you can do that, but you can also just let it bubble for as little as an hour. The longer you let it cook, the thicker it will be. When enough is enough, remove all the spices (1, 2, 3, 4!) and blend if you prefer a smoother consistency.

You can preserve the fruit by doing the whole mason-jar 10 minute hot water bath but don’t bother with that right now. When the fruit has cooled, just slice ⅓ of the way through the doughnut and spread the fruit with a knife. You can also inject it like I did one year, getting very sticky hands and wasting a lot of time.

An Optional Glaze (rather than the cinnamon and sugar):

  •  1 cup unfiltered apple juice (“cider”)
  • 2, 1 inch pieces ginger
  • 1 cup powdered/icing sugar
  • ½ teaspoon cinnamon

Like this: put the apple juice and the ginger into a small pot and boil. Keep reducing until less than half is left. When cooled, prepare the icing by combining the sugar and cinnamon and slowly add tablespoons of the reduced apple ginger mixture. Whisk until smooth. Place a wire cooling rack over a piece of parchment paper. When doughnuts are cool, dip tops into the glaze and let them rest on a wire rack until the glaze hardens.

Happy Chanukah!